Changes: Loved to Death

Revision as of 00:50, 6 May 2018

"Loved To Death" is the first episode in the third season of Tales From The Crypt, debuting June, 15th, 1991.

A writer (Andrew McCarthy) has a neighbor (Mariel Hemingway) who is his object of desire. He is aided by his landlord (David Hemmings) who gives him a love potion. He finally gains over the woman's affections, only to regret his choice after the woman's obsessive love and their torrid affair becomes too much for him to take.

Opening Segment

Template:Quote The opening segment shows a close-up of a gold Cupid statue with a red Valentine's day heart on its chest and the Cryptkeeper shooting arrows at it. After commenting to the audience about those desperately seeking a date with someone, he shoots an arrow at the Cupid statue and succeeds, striking the Valentine heart on its chest and causing it to leak blood. He then warns the audience to be careful what they wish for unlike the protagonist of tonight's episode. Pulling out his large book of horror stories, then he cackles evilly to the audience and titles the opening, "Loved To Death".

Plot

Edward, an aspiring screenwriter, moves into an apartment in Hollywood where he meets Miranda, an aspiring actress. He immediately falls in love with Miranda, who barely notices him and has even less affection for him. Miranda offers to meet him for a date one day only to keep Edward waiting for five hours, while she brings another man home, and forgets about her date with Edward. The landlord, however, notices this through the cameras. One day, when paying Miranda a friendly visit, Edward gets into fantasy mode and gropes Miranda, which angers her. She immediately kicks him out of the apartment.

Soon, it is time for Edward to pay rent. He goes to slip an envelope under the landlord's door but it mysteriously opens, as if inviting him in. Edward sees a wall full of pictures of women. Inside, the landlord reminds Edward of how he waited five hours for Miranda. He then asks Edward if he loves Miranda. When Edward answers in the affirmative, the landlord offers Edward a love potion to win over Miranda's affections. The effect is permanent. When Edward goes back the next day to win Miranda's forgiveness, she coldly lets him in and tells him that the only way he can do so is to move out of the building. He prepares drinks for both of them and quietly slips the love potion into Miranda's drink. She quickly imbibes her drink and tells him to leave immediately. Apparently, the love potion has not taken effect yet. She calls 9-1-1 to have the police escort him out of her building. But that is when the love potion takes effect. She immediately wants to passionately kiss hm and takes off some of her clothing, eager to have his erect penis enter into her vagina. That night, Edward thrusts his erect penis into Miranda's vagina for hours. The next morning, Edward is naked and spent from a night of lovemaking but Miranda, also naked, is ready for more lovemaking. She professes her love to him and makes him have sex with her again, without a condom, which puts her at risk for pregnancy. The glans of Edward's penis touches the interior of Miranda's vaginal wall. She doesn't seem to care. Edward thrusts and thrusts his penis into Miranda's vagina until he feels an orgasm which releases sperm from his pens and into Miranda's reproductive tract. His sperm quickly swim up through Miranda's Fallopian tubes until they encounter one of her ova. One sperm, finally penetrates the ovum and Miranda is soon facing a pregnancy.

Later, Edward is working on a script while a pregnant Miranda adoringly looks at him. She then crawls on her hands and knees, unzips Edward's pants, and puts her mouth on his pisser. After many more instances of having sex, Edward is tired, but Miranda is ready for more. Of course, the woman is seldom tired if missionary is the most used position. Miranda wants more sex. Edward hurries to the landlord who tells him that the potion's effects are permanent and that the only way out is either to kill Miranda or impregnate her. Edward, hesitant at first, realizes that may be true. Not prepared to be a father yet, Edward then realizes who the women in the pictures are. All of them were "victims" of the love potion. Edward reluctantly takes the fatal poison from the creepy landlord and goes back to Miranda. He again prepares two more drinks, one of which contains the fatal poison. Miranda takes the drink, falls dead and Edward quietly moves out of the building.

But that last sentence is not true. The non-poisoned drink is in a dirty class while the poisoned drink is placed in a clean glass, which Miranda gives to Edward. Edward accidentally takes it and falls dead. Miranda commits suicide by jumping out the window. Even though Edward died unintentionally and Miranda died via suicide, somehow they both end up in the same place. Miranda, however, is disfigured from her accident and this disfiguration seems to somehow follow her into the afterlife. She then advances upon Edward for more sex, this time without the danger of having babies. Edward is stuck with her in the afterlife for all eternity. Likely, Miranda will stay disfigured forever, too.

His scream upon realizing this horror is priceless.

Closing Segment

Miranda stays in love with Edward for all eternity and ugly and disfigured for all eternity, too. Edward will forever be chased by the ugly girl. This is not good.

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 Edward, an aspiring screenwriter, moves into an apartment in Hollywood where he meets Miranda, an aspiring actress. He immediately falls in love with Miranda, who barely notices him and has even less affection for him. Miranda offers to meet him for a date one day only to keep Edward waiting for five hours, while she brings another man home, and forgets about her date with Edward. The landlord, however, notices this through the cameras. One day, when paying Miranda a friendly visit, Edward gets into fantasy mode and gropes Miranda, which angers her. She immediately kicks him out of the apartment.
-Soon, it is time for Edward to pay rent. He goes to slip an envelope under the landlord's door but it mysteriously opens, as if inviting him in. Edward sees a wall full of pictures of women. Inside, the landlord reminds Edward of how he waited five hours for Miranda. He then asks Edward if he loves Miranda. When Edward answers in the affirmative, the landlord offers Edward a love potion to win over Miranda's affections. The effect is permanent. When Edward goes back the next day to win Miranda's forgiveness, she coldly lets him in and tells him that the only way he can do so is to move out of the building. He prepares drinks for both of them and quietly slips the love potion into Miranda's drink. She quickly imbibes her drink and tells him to leave immediately. Apparently, the love potion has not taken effect yet. She calls 9-1-1 to have the police escort him out of her building. But that is when the love potion takes effect. She immediately wants to passionately kiss hm and takes off some of her clothing, eager to have his erect penis enter into her vagina. That night, Edward thrusts his erect penis into Miranda's vagina for hours. The next morning, Edward is naked and spent from a night of lovemaking but Miranda, also naked, is ready for more lovemaking. She professes her love to him and makes him have sex with her again, without a condom, which puts her at risk for pregnancy. She doesn't seem to care. Edward thrusts and thrusts his pens into Miranda's vagina until he feels an orgasm which releases sperm from his pens and into Miranda's reproductive tract. His sperm quickly swim up through Miranda's Fallopian tubes until they encounter one of her ova. One sperm, finally penetrates the ovum and Miranda is soon facing a pregnancy.
+Soon, it is time for Edward to pay rent. He goes to slip an envelope under the landlord's door but it mysteriously opens, as if inviting him in. Edward sees a wall full of pictures of women. Inside, the landlord reminds Edward of how he waited five hours for Miranda. He then asks Edward if he loves Miranda. When Edward answers in the affirmative, the landlord offers Edward a love potion to win over Miranda's affections. The effect is permanent. When Edward goes back the next day to win Miranda's forgiveness, she coldly lets him in and tells him that the only way he can do so is to move out of the building. He prepares drinks for both of them and quietly slips the love potion into Miranda's drink. She quickly imbibes her drink and tells him to leave immediately. Apparently, the love potion has not taken effect yet. She calls 9-1-1 to have the police escort him out of her building. But that is when the love potion takes effect. She immediately wants to passionately kiss hm and takes off some of her clothing, eager to have his erect penis enter into her vagina. That night, Edward thrusts his erect penis into Miranda's vagina for hours. The next morning, Edward is naked and spent from a night of lovemaking but Miranda, also naked, is ready for more lovemaking. She professes her love to him and makes him have sex with her again, without a condom, which puts her at risk for pregnancy. The glans of Edward's penis touches the interior of Miranda's vaginal wall. She doesn't seem to care. Edward thrusts and thrusts his penis into Miranda's vagina until he feels an orgasm which releases sperm from his pens and into Miranda's reproductive tract. His sperm quickly swim up through Miranda's Fallopian tubes until they encounter one of her ova. One sperm, finally penetrates the ovum and Miranda is soon facing a pregnancy.
 Later, Edward is working on a script while a pregnant Miranda adoringly looks at him. She then crawls on her hands and knees, unzips Edward's pants, and puts her mouth on his pisser. After many more instances of having sex, Edward is tired, but Miranda is ready for more. Of course, the woman is seldom tired if missionary is the most used position. Miranda wants more sex. Edward hurries to the landlord who tells him that the potion's effects are permanent and that the only way out is either to kill Miranda or impregnate her. Edward, hesitant at first, realizes that may be true. Not prepared to be a father yet, Edward then realizes who the women in the pictures are. All of them were "victims" of the love potion. Edward reluctantly takes the fatal poison from the creepy landlord and goes back to Miranda. He again prepares two more drinks, one of which contains the fatal poison. Miranda takes the drink, falls dead and Edward quietly moves out of the building.