"A kidney's not enough? A mad doc enlists two security guards in a scheme to harvest the souls of the dead."
-- DVD description for the episode
Charlie and Richard are two loser security guards who work the night shift in a local morgue. Their first night on the job becomes an eventful one when they catch the eccentric Dr. Orloff trying to pilfer one of the corpses kept in storage. It's not long before the crazed physician appeals to their greed in including them in his twisted scientific plot.
Also stars Ben Stein.
Opening Segment"Yeah, kids these days with their long hair. You can't even tell the boils from the ghouls. And when they do want a cut, they go to one of those fancy salons like Jose Slay-ber or Videad Sassoon. It's enough to make you terror your hair out."
[Crypt Keeper pulls towel off customer to find his face's flesh has been melted to the bone]
"Hmm. I guess that towel was a little too hot. Still, I think it's a good look for you. Once it's groan out, I'm sure you'll love it. Which brings to mind the young men in tonight's terror tale. They're about to try a new scare style as well. In a delightful little die-job I call "Doctor of Horror."
"That Charlie. And you thought he was mixed up before. *Laughs* As a matter of fact, I just got a card from Charlie. He went on to open a chain of private clubs for dismembers only. Oh, and Richard went into medicine, specializing in intensive scare. So, I've got a free chair. How about a little trim? I promise I won't take off too much.
*Cuts off man's ear as he yelps*
Shave and a haircut... Two bits!"